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...the hell's at me...

What will you get when you retire?...

Pats last day.

It was Postman Pat's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying

At the second house they presented him an 18-carat gold watch.

The folks at the third house handed him a bottle of 15-year old Scotch whisky.

At the fourth house he was met at the door by a dumb blonde in her lingerie. She took him by the arm and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced. When he had had enough they went downstairs, where the blonde fixed him a full english breakfast: Bacon, Eggs, Sausage & Tomato with freshly squeezed orange juice. When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee. As she was pouring, he noticed a £5 note sticking out from under the cups bottom edge.

"All this was just too wonderful for words," he said, "but what's the five quid for?"

"Well," said the dumb blonde, "last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day and that we should do something special for you". I asked him what to give you".

He said, "F*ck him. Give him a fiver."
She smiled shyly and said, "The breakfast was my idea."

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